avan, aval, naan

He was 5’11”, well built, brownish complexion, handsome and smart. She was almost 5’7”, wheatish, lean, beautiful and gracious. We were not surprised when he fell for her. “I was hooked to her the very first time I saw her”, he confessed. “There is something magical and magnetic in her eyes that attract me towards her whenever I see her” he went on, typical of him given how filmi he was.

Invariably I would be there with Raj when we would come across Anu. I swear it was coincidental and not deliberate. In my defense, whenever possible, I used to excuse myself from the scene to facilitate any course of action from Raj, if he may.


“Did you talk to her?” I quizzed

“No da, not yet”, he gave me the same answer he as been giving me for the last one month. Ok, I have been asking the same question to him. Maybe I should rephrase my question.

“Are you ever gonna?” I deliberately put a tone of warning into the query.

“I will, I am just waiting for a right moment.” I think valentine’s day would be the right time”

That’s a whole month away!….i sighed


Namrata Shirodkar in a navy blue mini skirt smiling at me from the wall right across my bed, when I woke up

She was nice, infact, she looks really gorgeous in the pioster; not only on the one on the wall, but also on the 2 which had appeared behind the front door.

“What the heck?”……my eyes were searching for Raj.

“Don’t you think Anu looks like her?” you can’t but agree with Raj, when he puts in such innocence in his questions (don’t believe, try being his roommate for 3 years)

“She might be, if you think so”…the most I can do is to give him moral support.

There is something magical and magnetic in her eyes that attract me towards her whenever I see her”.


“Hey come.. she’s there in the caffeteria”…he dragged me out of the library and threw me behind his bike. I don’t need an life insurance as of now, but if such events are gonna recur frequently, it wont be a bad idea to get one…..a rather big one given the speed at which he was beating the traffic.

“ Why do you need me if you are gonna talk to her”…..i could help wondering.

“She’s with her friend”


“Your labmate Megha”


“So get rid of her from there. I have a thing going on for her, don't you?”

“heyyy, nothing like that!" I pretty much yelled back wondering how he figured!. "So, you want me to kill her?” I had to crack the PJ. It invariably help hide my blushing; as well as change the subject.

“Poda….shut up if don’t want me to do that to you”

“Given how you are driving, I think you are trying your best”


“I will give the card to her today”… I had heard that million times in the last one month. Atlast the day had dawned.

“Good”, atleast I will be spared from now on from your countdowns”. I had to be sarcastic irrespective of the mood of the occasion.

“Its today or never”…he vowed.

When I got back from college, Raj wasn’t home yet. Being an optimist, I assumed things worked out well with his card giving and my best chance of catching him would be in the caffeteria with her.

I don’t know when I dozed off, but I was in the middle of a nice dream – I was practicing dance with Rani Mukherjee; which would have been a nightmare if it was real! - when Raj banged on the door.

“Haaaaiiiii” my yawn sounded like a greeting. “So, how did you give it to her?”

“Naaaaa”…his dejected tone sounded more authentic than my yawn.

“Whats wrong”?

“Nothing”…..he paused ...”I think she is already with someone”

“Oh damn”, I felt sorry for my roomie…"Did she say that”?

“Kind of, she said she has personal reasons, what else it can be!”

“Its her misfortune da, take it easy. I am sure you will find a much better girl”…I had to do my part in consoling.

“Com’on Raj, let’s go out, the beer's on me”, I felt like doing more than just consoling for my dear roomie. I swear, my urge to have a beer after the nap was only a secondary reason.

“It was a good card by the way, maybe someone else can use it”…I hoped my inopportune jokes which usually works its charm in cheering people up with do it this time too.


“Hurry up man, you are getting late for the match”…..Raj shouted over the revving of the bullet.

“In a minute, can’t find my wallet”

“Make it fast, I wanna warm up a bit before the game”…Raj was quite sure of the expectations from the best batsman in the team.

Just as I was retrieving my wallet from the drawer, I noticed a green envelope addressed to Megha under the directory. It is cheap to read others mails, but curiosity got the better of me. It might have got the cat killed, but I had to take my chances. After all it was addressed to Megha. Having decided to find some excuse later for my defense, I opened it. Inside was a small sky blue color card with lamination like finish and written inside in lovely print like handwriting were the words I had come to memorize listening to over the last few weeks.

“there is something magical and magnetic in your eyes which attacts me towards you whenever I see you”


lost in translation

I had a dissapointing revelation few days back!

As most close to me know already that though I am a born Tamilian, I am more comfortable with Malayalam owing to my upbringing in Kerala. That also accounts for me being more fluent, both in verse and speech, in Malayalam than Tamil or Hindi or for that matter even English. Malayalam used to be a compulsory subject for me in school and I can confidently claim that I am pretty good in it (I learned the Tamil alphabets on my own and still can only stutter through reading any text in that language and my spoken Tamil, well, all know how that goes).

I have not got any opportunity to use Malayalam in writing for almost 5 years now ever since I landed in US. I never lost touch with the language (or so I thought) since I regularly read Malayalam news online. But what I forgot to realize was how much I had not used the language in my writing. And to my own horror I realized it few days back. I had to translate some notes to Malayalam and I just couldn’t get the letters right! Usually, I just sleep walk through the words, but this time I messed up the letters with similar looking scripts (and there are quite a few similar looking letters in Malayalam).

I am afraid I have to confess with at most shame that I might be losing touch with my first language. I feel embarrassed about myself since I never expected it to happen…feels almost like what I would feel if I ever forgot how to ride a bicycle. I maybe over reacting a bit, and for as much trivial as it sound, my worry is valid given how much low I feel about the whole issue.

I recollect an incident last year. The last time I had to write something in Malayalam was for Vidhyarambham (Aayitha pooja) and while writing in Malayalam, I misspelled the very first letter itself...no wonder I had hard time finishing my studies last year!


i wonder why

I used to be stubborn kid. I have been the recipient of many self inflicted injuries as well as those inflicted by my mother given my mischief. (If anyone is surprised to read about such a version of me should be thanking the god that they got to see a mellowed version of me). I have been very unruly and short tempered which has landed me under an auto rickshaw, on a concrete floor head down from the terrace etc other than the innumerable slaps from mother (well, those are stories for another time).

Sometime in the early nineties, at around the time when the bollywood movie Phool Aur Kaante released (which launched Ajay Devgan as the new action hero), I was at my unmanageable best - getting pissed at the slightest of things and throwing tantrums and yelling to a stage of physically attack - and my cousins gave me the name Ajay Devgan….for being the angry young man I was!

Cut to year 2004, I was at the wedding reception of my cousin at Utah. There I met one of my other cousin’s husband and he remarked that he had recently seen the movie Raincoat and Ajay Devgan in that movie reminded him of me. Mind you, it is a movie where the mentioned actor played a gentle character which a heart of gold.

It was a surprise for all of us present there since he had no idea that I have been previously compared to that actor. And my cousin said “See, we told you that years back!”

In my personal opinion, I don’t think I resemble Devgan in anyways. The only similarity can find is the skin texture we share ….(also, maybe the unconventional good looks too *wink*). Yet it still bewilders how I was compared to AJ all over again. After all those years, my alleged similarity to the actor surfaced again albeit for different reasons.

(Maybe a cue for future filmmakers, who wants to make a movie on my life, whom to cast as the lead actor....or maybe vice versa ;)